Spoonerism Day 2020 is on Wednesday, July 22, 2020: Spoonerism competition?
Wednesday, July 22, 2020 is Spoonerism Day 2020. July 22: Spoonerism Day July 22: Spoonerism Day
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets
to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned
a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy
ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight
otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and
let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame
that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown
cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without
success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and
a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen
RIP - Ronnie Barker.
What are spoonerisms?
William Archibald Spooner was born in London on 22 July 1844. Eighteen years later he won a scholarship to New College, Oxford where he completed degrees in classics and humanities (divinity). He continued at New College for the remainder of his life, lecturing there from 1869 onward, serving as dean 1876-1889, and finally becoming its warden (president) after completing his Doctor of Divinity degree in 1903.
(Un)fortunately, Spooner's scholarly work has not passed the test of time. Rather, he is remembered for a peculiar speech error he was wont to make: the transposition of the initial letters (sounds) of adjoining words, often with humorous results. It is to this type of speech error (slip of the tongue) that Dr. Spooner lent his name: the spoonerism. Here is a selection, beginning with those attributed to Dr. Spooner himself.
A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. It is also known as a marrowsky, after a Polish count who suffered from the same impediment. While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue resulting from unintentionally getting one's words in a tangle, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words. In some cultures, spoonerisms are used as a rhyme form used in poetry, such as German Schüttelreime. Spoonerisms are commonly used intentionally in humor, especially drunk humor.
Most of the quotations attributed to Spooner are apocryphal; The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated spoonerism: "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer." Spooner claimed that "The Kinquering Congs Their Titles Take" (in reference to a hymn) was his sole spoonerism. Most spoonerisms were probably never uttered by William Spooner himself, but rather made up by colleagues and students as a pastime. Richard Lederer, calling "Kinkering Kongs their Titles Take" (with an alternate spelling) one of the "few" authenticated Spoonerisms, dates it to 1879, and gives nine examples "attributed to Spooner, most of them spuriously". They are:
* "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (dear old queen, referring to Queen Victoria)
* "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (customary to kiss)
* "The Lord is a shoving leopard." (a loving shepherd)
* "A blushing crow." (crushing blow)
* "A well-boiled icicle" (well-oiled bicycle)
* "You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle." (lighting a fire)
* "Is the bean dizzy?" (dean busy)
* "Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." (occupying my pew...show me to another seat)
* "You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain." (missed...history, wasted...term, down train)
A newspaper column attributes this additional example to Spooner: "A nosey little cook." (cozy little nook).
I am regrettably very prone to spoonerisms. For example, I said to my son one day, when he was going outside, to watch out for the "ticks and chiggers". We live in Oklahoma. What came out was "chicks and tiggers." My son thought that was hysterical, and brought it up on every occasion he could think of to make fun of me!
But there is divine justice! One day my son slipped up. (must be my influence) He meant to say "herd of horses" and he said "horde of hearses." So I got the last laugh, and he's never brought up my spoonerism tendency since!
Funny spoonerism, has anyone noticed?
Hahaha, that's a funny one; "Brad and Angelina's kid is called Piloh Shitt." Oooooo!!!
My favourite has always been ones by the original Rev. Spooner himself.
Beginning with light spooners,
Enquiring after the dean, "Is the bean dizzy?"
Regarding the flag, "We'll have the hags flung out"
To a delinquent pupil, "You have kissed all my masses"
This, from a reverend!!!
Alternate form: "You have hissed all my mystery lectures"
To a lady at a college reception, "You'll soon be had as a matter, of course"
For the Queen, "Let us glaze our asses to the queer old Dean"