Tomboy Tools Month on August, 2024: Scared to drive my vehicle, can't afford to fix it. Parents, what would you do?

August, 2024 is Tomboy Tools Month 2024. Tomboy Tools, Inc. Tomboy Tools, Inc.

I am a female but I can and have worked on cars independently of my husband and usually without his help since my dad taught me to mechanic my own vehicles. Dad did not want me to be taken advantage of by some of these repair shops in our area so with him it was a parental duty and I was raised in a shop. I can pull and rebuild Engines, Transmissions and Differentials as well as repair carburetors/fuel injection systems plus troubleshoot electrical and code problems. I am not a Tomboy, I am all girl, complete with skirt, bra and two kids. But I am not afraid to get dirty either. So what I am suggesting to you is not to look at all the repairs needed as a whole project but concentrate on one problem at a time. That way it will be easier to manage the problems without dumping a lot of cash all at once into repairs. This will allow you to make the repairs whenever you can afford to do so. Your number one tool is a Chilton's repair manual for the Isuzu. If you don't have one, get one. Below I have listed the parts you may need along with a cost breakdown which is based upon the 6 cylinder engine. Parts may be cheaper if it is a 4 cylinder engine.

CV axle: $50 to 70.00

Horn Relay: $11.00

Horn Buttons: Dealer Item Only

Tune up Parts: Spark plugs @ $2.00 ea. Ignition Wires: $ 19.00 a set, Air Filter @ $18.00, Fuel Filter @ $12.00.

Radio: Cheap @ a pawn shop (maybe $25.00 cheapest) or find a direct replacement in a junk yard.

A/C: Could be low on refrigerant due to a minor leak or evaporator coil needs cleaning.

Check Engine Light: Use an OBDII SCAN-TOOL to diagnose Fault codes.

Most major Auto Parts chain stores (such as Advance Auto) have a loan-a-tool program that will loan you a SCAN-TOOL to read the check engine fault codes and give you an idea of the problem(s). Note: The deposit on the scan-tool is equal to the purchase price but is refundable when you bring the tool back.

Use the Chilton's manual to tackle one problem at a time until it is back to where you are comfortable driving it.

As far as the Miata goes. If your dad got a loan on the car, that means the car is titled in his name and legally you don't own the car. Your are SOL on that deal. But as soon as he pays off the loan, demand the title and then you can sell it if you want to. Right now your only option is to do what you can do to fix the Isuzu until you find yourself in a better financial situation.

How do you teach your children to deal with conflict?

I think you handled it beautifully.

A parent can jump in and try to fix problems as they crop up, but that's ultimately a hopeless task. Much better to give your children the tools to handle it themselves, which is exactly what you're doing.

It's scary how early the mean-girl stuff starts. Good for your daughter for asserting herself and finding a new crowd.

eta -- I read your edit, and not only do you not need to be asking for advice on these issues, but you should be handing it out. Very nicely handled.

Transgender, how early on did your parents notice you were different?

My parents thought I was a budding lesbian when I was little, haha. I wasn't super obviously trans as a kid. I sort of knew it, but I was shy and scared and kept it to myself. Lots of trans guys do act that way as children, though.

How I see it is, it could mean something, but sometimes little girls are just huge "tomboys" and think that a male identity will allow them to express that more. If I were in your position, I'd try letting her 100% wear all the boys clothes and play with all boys toys she wants, putting away her girls clothes and things that make her uncomfortable. Make sure to explain to her that girls can do all the things that boys do and that that's okay. Maybe try to find her some If she's still as persistent in her identification of herself as a boy, then its probably a matter of gender rather than gender expression (and I'm using the wrong pronouns).