Single Parent's Day 2017 is on Tuesday, March 21, 2017: Any single childless people tired of picking up parents' slack in the workplace?
Tuesday, March 21, 2017 is Single Parent's Day 2017. Off the Square: A Day in the Life of a Single Parent - Isthmus ... Life of a Single Parent
Ever attempted raising kids? Single Parents’ Day remembers individuals brave, stoical people who do it on their very own, and in some cases with no back-up.Most single parents didn’t plan to be single parents once they began. Single being a parent usually happens because of unfortunate and demanding occasions. Raising children despite two parents could be effort, so take the time to applaud individuals individuals who, usually through no-fault that belongs to them, are needing to fly solo.Kids of single parents include Jennifer Aniston, Bradley Wiggins and Adele, so it’s clearly feasible for single parents to boost very gifted, high-achieving people. Regardless of this, there's still a stigma mounted on single parent families. This can be a real shame.Therefore if you’re the kid of merely one parent, make use of this day to exhibit them just how much you appreciate all of their effort!
In my department at a university - 30 staff members - there are twice as many singles with no children as there are parents with children no matter what the age. I am one of the only ones who is done with raising my children. (When I did have them at home, I was a loyal worker who did not do any demanding for time off). About 2/3rds of the singles come in late, leave early, and take 2 hour lunches. They plan parties and other outings during work time in each others' offices, talk about their latest boy and girlfriends - and about each other - and if someone asks them for a bit of help with anything outside their written description of the position, they will state basically "that is not my problem, it's not in my job description" even though they are supposed to be part of a team that pulls together and lends a hand to one another. There are a few parents that will do the same thing - the talking about personal stuff forever and coming in late or leaving early - but it involves their children or own parents. About a quarter of us carry the department, and that includes some parents and some non-parents, both single and married. I am not talking about supervisors vs workers (there are 6 supervisors in sub-departments within our larger department). I am talking about people who are lateral on the ladder. They are supposed to be on equal footing, yet some think they are special in this regard. I do know things get noticed however, as in the long run I have gotten better reviews and raises - and also my supervisor will allow me to leave early for a dr appt or usually say yes if I ask for special days - and I don't often ask for that. (Some just call in sick when they want off for a day). It makes me uptight at times when I am on a special project and can not get the info needed from someone as they are gabbing in someone else's office yet again or have not bothered to come in yet... but that has nothing to do with having or not having children.
And - if it is a legitimate reason or if they are supposed to get vacation at the time, I have no problem with picking up slack. (I tend to handle 2 - 4 people's duties the way it is so that my boss gets what she needs - but she does notice). Part of the decision on who gets priority for vacation is with seniority, but part of it deals with work ethics in various ways - and that is why some end up with their first pick of days. We tend to share days - meaning if some are off before Thanksgiving others are off either before or after Christmas - that way it rotates for special days.
What do you consider a single parent?
Technically I define a single parent as a parent who lives with his/her children and is responsible for all or an overwhelming percentage of their upbringing. If that parent later has another partner move in (whether they marry or not) I don't consider them to be a single parent. I think a single parent can be married but separated, divorced, widowed or never married. I don't consider a parent who does not live with their children for all or the majority of the time to be a single parent; although they are indeed a parent and may indeed be single, the term 'single parent' has other implications which I don't consider to apply to the other half. If a pair of parents have split 50/50 custody I consider them both to be single parents, but single parents who have a MUCH easier ride than sole or majority carers.
This isn't to say I don't think that other parents who aren't in any of the above situations can't have as tough a time as a single parent or as many issues on their plate. All parenthood is tough at the end of the day, not just single parenthood, and it's not (in my opinion) as black and white as, single parent = tough job, coupled parents = easier job.
As you know I'm 100% a single mother in that my son's dad has never met him or paid a penny towards him (despite being aware of his existance) and I have not had a relationship since having my son. However there are people out there who I think have a much, much rougher deal than me - and in all honesty I don't really feel deserved of the badge of honour a lot of people seem to [kindly] award to single parents. I strongly feel that those out there who are in a marriage/partnership and have the other parent refusing to help out physically or emotionally (and in some cases financially too) are in a worse situation than people like me, as they have the person they love right there under their nose and the frustration and the hurt of not being able to nudge them into being a good parent to their children. I wouldn't call them a single parent, because they're not, but this is not to say that the troubles they have are not just as great as or even greater than that of a traditional single parent.
I also think that a parent who is used to raising their children as part of a dual-functioning couple and then has that other parent removed from daily life due to separation or death often has a much tougher time than those of us who were single from the start - as when you're single from day 1 a coping mechanism automatically kicks in and you have nothing else to compare to, whereas this would take more time and would be harder to get used to from someone in the alternative situation.
I even think that parents who experience temporary separation from a partner they are happy with, for example if one half is deployed or sent away for work for some time, are deserved of a mention here. I'll be honest - I don't like it when they call themselves single parents because they aren't single, and however tough being apart might be, they couldn't possibly be in the same situation as a true single parent, because they DO have that loving other half somewhere in the world who, even if they don't get to see each other for a while or speak every day, is still providing that emotional (not to mention financial) backbone. They could never truly understand the loniliness of a single parent - I don't doubt they are lonely when their partners leave for a while but it does irate me a little when I see a military wife (for example) referring to herself as a 'lonely single parent' because she won't see her hubby for a few months. Try the rest of your life, see how the emotional pressure of that feels. BUT that being said, as I was originally saying, I do feel for these parents additionally and I do think they are amongst those who do often have a tougher time for at least part of their parenting careers.
Single parents, how would you handle this?
Assuming my child would be really excited to see him on his/her special day, I would grit my teeth and shoulder it. It's my child's special day, not mine.
Unfortunately, this also applies in the case of deadbeat uninvolved non-custodials, who are probably only there to aggravate the primary parent in the first place. The child assumes their other parent is there for him/her, and so it should be.
Sometimes the end result is more important than the truth that holds it up... In this case, both parents are there and the child is not stressed on his big day. I'll get thumbed for that, because it promotes an untruth (gasp) but I stand by it. I don't care what it takes a parent to spare their child stress, pressure, guilt and responsibility of a strained family, that should be their goal.
It is the wrong, most inappropriate time, however, for a "stranger" parent to walk in and say Hey I'm your dad - like in Chris' case above, and I would discreetly have him removed in the unlikely case that he showed up.